Author: jonze33

1933 is a pairing of myself and my best friend. This site will showcase stories from life, entertainment, and more. I'm the proud father of a beautiful girl, Lucy, and a rambunctious little boy, Lucas. Also, been married for 7 years to my partner in crime.

Jonesy’s Random Movie Review #1

I’m hoping that this new segment is both entertaining and intriguing enough to bring back volume to the Thirdand7 family. It’s proven to be a little more difficult than I imagined to keep content flowing, but I’m hoping to make this a weekly edition.

For Christmas in 2010 I received Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide, where he provides reviews and ratings on more than 17,000 movies. Now the fact that this man has seen 17,000 movies is amazing itself. I’m going to randomly select a movie from his collection and provide my own review (if I’ve seen it of course). Today’s Entry:

Bubba Ho-Tep: (2002) Starring: Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis
Chances are you probably have never even heard of this movie. Chances are you’d also never think about watching this movie. It’s a B Movie to the fullest. The plot is hokey, the stars are C-List to most people, and there was little to no promotion from the studio. To a film buff, Bruce Campbell is a God. He is THE greatest cult actor of all time, starring in The Evil Dead Trilogy and numerous other low-budget movies and TV shows. In Bubba Ho-Tep, Bruce stars as an elderly Elvis Presley who has been hiding in an old folks home for years. His only friend is John F. Kennedy (Ossie Smith), a black man who claims to be the murdered President; as part of the cover up, the government died him brown. As you can tell from that setup, this movie is not playing in the realm of reality.

Here’s the best part: while living at the old folks home, people start dying, which to the normal person does not appear to be a big deal as most residents are on their deathbed. But to Elvis and JFK, they notice that the deaths are not what they appear to be; they are in fact murder. The duo discover that an ancient mummy has been resurrected from the nearby museum and has stumbled upon the retirement community. Elvis and JFK are the only two people who can stop the mummy and put an end to it’s murderous ways.

The movie is hokey beyond belief, but it’s the rapport of Campbell and Davis that saves the film. With other actors, the characters could have simply been thrown up on the screen in a slapstick way. Campbell fully embodies Elvis and breathes humor and honesty into his role. Davis is so convincing as JFK, that you actually believe his story of being the tortured President. In the end, you are right by their side, rooting for them to pull off the impossible.

Leonard Maltin’s Grade: B
Jonesy’s Grade: C+

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The 7: Only Remaining Movies You Need to Spend $10 a Ticket to See in Theaters This Year

  1. Ted (June 29th)- Get your friends together, go hit Applebee’s for Happy Hour and wander over to the Regal Cinemas for a night of raunchy comedy. Marky Mark and Peter Griffin the Bear should make for a hilarious combination.
  2. The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3rd)- I’ll be the first to admit, I was part of the group of people that couldn’t fathom rebooting a franchise fresh off it’s last outing in 2007. However, the revived storyline and stellar trailers have made me a believer and put me in line for opening weekend.
  3. The Dark Knight Rises (July 20th)- The. Must. See. Film. Of. 2012. Nuff Said.
  4. The Bourne Legacy (August 3rd)- No Matt Damon? No Problem. Jeremy Renner is the new badass action guy on the block. Quick sidenote; this is not a spinoff, this film takes place during The Bourne Ultimatum.
  5. Skyfall (November 9th)- Bond Is Back. Daniel Craig returns for his third outing as 007, this time with a Top Secret plot that not even the fanboys know about.
  6. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14th)- Are you ready to return to Middle Earth? No? Are you not a nerdy film geek who saw all three Lord of the Rings films at Midnight shows?
  7. Django Unchained (December 25th)- I’m not a hipster who enjoys Quentin Tarantino’s just because it’s cool; well, maybe with Jackie Brown. But Django looks like the right kind of film to make me forget the disaster that was Grindhouse.

OKC- You’re Not the Sonics

The thing that sickens me the most is them saying “Oklahoma City heads back to the NBA Finals for the first time since 1996”. Ummm…no? Seattle went to the Finals that year, not OKC. If a team moves from it’s original city and changes everything about the franchise, they no longer have rights to the previous feats. That’s just common law isn’t it? If I buy a replica Super Bowl Ring I’m not an automatic Super Bowl Champion. Stop comparing our franchises!

The 7: Movies I’ll Always Stop and Watch on Cable

You know those lazy Sundays where you sit around your house, in your pajamas, and just channel surf until you find something good? That’s what this list represents; not that the movies are stellar or Oscar worthy; but they are entertaining enough to stop and watch for 20 min intervals on any given day.

  1. Drumline – I get made fun of A LOT when this movie is brought up. It’s definately a guilty pleasure movie and perfect to just zone out and get in touch with my roots.
  2. Die Hard – Even with the butchering that comes with Cable TV; the sight of John McClaine will always make me put the remote down.
  3. Ocean’s Eleven – A recent addition to this list, as it’s been on Bravo every other weekend recently. It’s still a fantastically made film.
  4. The Day After Tomorrow – Another critically bashed film that is not as bad as people made it out to be; this disaster movie has some great special effects and Jake Gyllenhaal, can’t go wrong.
  5. The Sandlot – I will stop everytime, just to watch 10-15 mins, just to remember what it was like to be carefree and just worry about playing a little baseball.
  6. Starship Troopers – I Love This Movie. Everything about this movie brings out the 15 year old boy in me. Lots of violence. Lots of gore. Little bit of nudity. Of course, this is all cut out on cable, but if anything it makes for some good comedic moments.
  7. Back to the Future – This movie is a timeless classic. It saddens me to think that Hollywood wants to reboot the franchise, I really wish they would just leave shit alone.

Jonesy’s Random Thoughts – Episode 2

The below opinions are of the author alone and not reflective of Thirdand7’s staff.

  • In 2 months my son will be born. It’s both extremely exciting and terrifying to care for a baby again.
  • This week Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol comes out on DVD; I highly reccommend picking it up. It’s by far the best of the series.
  • I really dislike The ‘Pen at Safeco Field. If I wanted to go to a club, I’d go to a club, not a baseball game. Stupid youth of America.
  • It’s pretty cool having a house with a yard, even knowing that days like today will eventually mean I’ll have to be outside working in it instead of watching TV with Lucy.
  • This year’s annual MLB bet with my boss has been made: Whichever team makes it the furthest in the season, the winner gets the Jersey of their choice. She chose the Yankees, I chose the Tigers. We’ve done this 2 years prior and have split the wins.
  • I jumped on the Draw Something bandwagon because the whole world did. I got bored very quickly, I don’t think it translates very well, they need to make some changes. There should be a timer and there should not be scrambled letters (which you can just stare at to guess).
  • Ted looks absolutely hilarious. HILARIOUS!
  • When baby comes I will have the following TV shows to watch: Boardwalk Empire, King of Thrones and Friday Night Lights.
  • Is it considered a nap if you wake up at 7 and go back to sleep from 8:30 to 10?
  • After 11 games, the Mariners are 6-5 and in 2nd Place in the AL West. Only 151 Games to go!
  • We did the Speed Pitch at the Mariners game yesterday. I topped out at 65mph and my arm feels like rubber today.

In Cinemas: The Hunger Games

First Things First- THIS IS NOT TWILIGHT. THIS IS NOTHING LIKE TWILIGHT. IF YOU THINK THIS IS TWILIGHT YOU ARE AN IGNORANT HUMAN BEING.

Okay. Yes this is a movie based on a Young Adult novel series; but it’s not a sappy love triangle story between fictional creatures. The Hunger Games is a story about a girl leading a rebellion against a corrupt capital regime who just so happens to have 2 boys in love with her. In my opinion, and since it’s my blog post it doesn’t matter, The Hunger Games has more in common with Braveheart than Twilight. Yeah, I just said it.

The last fiction book I read was…I couldn’t even tell you. But once I discovered The Hunger Games, I read all 3 in 2 months, which is like a miracle for me. Did I read it simply because I knew there was a movie coming out? Probably, but I sure am glad I did. The film version is absolutely faithful to the book, with some minor omissions and additions that help move the story along. First off, Jennifer Lawrence is my new crush; she can throw me around any day. There is no other actress in Hollywood that could have played Katniss, that’s an absolute fact. She completely embodies the character from the pages and brings the exact amount of sincerity and roughness needed for The Girl On Fire. In terms of the other casting, I’m a big Josh Hutcherson fan; I’m not even sure why. I think he was perfectly cast as Peeta. Baby Hemsworth (Liam, Thor’s Brother) is sufficient as Gale in the 10 mins of screen time he has in volume 1. Woody Harrelson is a decent Haymitch, the drunken sole victor from District 12.

If you don’t know about the Hunger Games, then you probably don’t care about this review or even seeing it. Everyone I’ve talked to that saw the film loved it. This is an action movie. It’s a movie about kids being forced to kill each other in a televised event for the enjoyment of their government. It’s a minor love story, in between Tracker Jackers and Muttations. I cannot wait for Catching Fire, December 2013.

Overall Grade: A-