It’s that time again: Top Chef is back on the air. I personally have been looking forward to this week for quite some time. There is little on TV anymore that gets me as interested as Top Chef. It is both original and entertaining. That and I love food.
I am getting a late start, but I plan to review every episode.
To kick things off, I like to make a totally wild prediction on the final 3, before seeing a single minute of the show. My guess this season, in no particular order:
- Paul Qui
- Andrew Curran
- Ritchie Farina
I am also excited for this season as there are (for now) four Seattle chefs in the competition:
- Simon Pantet, Twenty-Two Doors
- Colin Patterson, Sutra
- Nina Vicente, Spur Gastropub
- Ashley Villaluz, caterer
Padma, still hot. Gail, still hot.
Ok, so, now we can get on to the episode.
Right out of the gate this season is different. There are 29 cheftestants all lined up at the Alamo. No meeting at the airport and wondering what’s in store. We also discover that there are new judges: Emeril “BAM” Legasse and Hugh “Unibrow” Acheson. There is a super douche, who only wants to stick around for Padma. I think he’s wearing fake hair. Tyler Stone you are a douche.
These 29 are not “in” yet. They are divided in to three groups and have to cook their way on to the show. I love the idea of getting to see the last leg of tryout. Each group cooks, they get an hour. And judges eat, then vote. If the group can’t agree chefs are “On the Bubble” and will have one last shot to get in, if there are spots left.
Emeril, Padma and Tom are standing in front of primal cuts of pork. Everyone introduces themselves and illustrates that they have chops and win awards. Some show that they are SUPER DOUCHY (Tyler Stone, still looking at you. This group has 3 Seattle Chefs and a bunch from Chicago. Some of the primal cuts have multiple regular cuts. Tyler D-bag butchers the chops and tenderloin, but he has no idea what the F he’s doing and totally BONES it. Tyler, Tom will not stand for your bull. Leave now. No really. Get the F out. Tom’s not gonna mess around.
Now there are 28.
The food looks good, overall. I am intrigued by pork cheek ravioli. Someone makes a pork apple caramel thing that looks amazing. Patterson, from Seattle, pours soup all over the plate. It is a HOT MESS and BAM. He gets the axe before anyone can even taste it. Then there were 3 from Seattle. Hey, at least he wasn’t first. Time is what wins Top Chef, and anyone that has watched knows that. I think maybe the chefs have never watched. Simon over cooks his pork and has to pack his knives and go. Then there were two.
A few go through, a few on the bubble.
Less get the ax as quick in group two. This group gets to pick a protein and they select rabbit. Nothing exciting here. Nina, from Seattle, runs out of time and can’t even get the rabbit on the plate. She goes home. There’s a guy named Ty-lor Boring. In the first 30 seconds he was on the screen I knew he was going to spend the season DRIVING ME NUTS! What the hell kind of name is that? I guess that’s where the cockiness comes from. Pretty boy from LA gets though. He might have a chance to go far. Even though he’s a culinary artist. I also like Dakota to go far, based solely on her ability to scare the shit out of the other chefs.
So let’s recap: 3 of the 4 from Seattle are out already. I bet the other goes next week. Piss poor showing Seattle, piss poor.
11 of 16 spots are taken. One group to cook, and maybe a spot will be left for someone from the bubble.
I expect great things from this season.
Top Chef, your time starts… NOW!