Seahawks vs Falcons

I have no real hatred towards the Falcons and I think this will be a closely contested game. If it was in Atlanta, we’d be dicked. The only analysis I’ll give is that I hope Mike Smith continues to force Matt Ryan to throw 50 passes a game. Ryan is going to get sacked more than Cutler at this pace. Anyway, I will instead use this post to rip my underachieving fantasy football team. Oh, the Falcon’s owner looks looks like a mobster from Dick Tracy.

To the members of “Zombie Al Davis”,

You 0-3 assholes quit on me faster than the Raiders quit on the real Al Davis! I am calling you out right now. You cost me $10 and I’ve got a kid on the way so my wife is going to be so pissed!

Jamaal Charles – Who the hell do you think you are? You got your ass kicked to injured reserve by the Lions mascot! I can’t believe I wasted my 2nd overall pick on such a pansy… Thanks for putting me out of my misery in week 2.

Matt Schaub – Just because I picked you late in the draft doesn’t mean you have to suck so bad. You can, you know, audible into a pass play once in a while. Houston scored 34, 23, and 33 points this season. You didn’t do sh*t. Thats not mathematically possible. Don’t make me consider starting Kevin Kolb… please

Andre Johnson – I have no beef with you. If you can just punch Schaub in the face for me that would be great.

DeSean Jackson – 7 Points a game isn’t going to cut it. I will trade you for a mid-level running back if I can find someone dumb enough to take your over-rated ass.

Tim Hightower – You were my “sleeper.” I had no real interest in starting you, ever. But keep it up. And if Roy Helu takes your job I will cut you. And not from my team.

Felix Jones – You are the definition of underachieving. Stop being listed as questionable.

Greg Jennings – If you weren’t a member of the Packers I would have never drafted you. Stop being such a team player and get in the end zone.

Josh Brown – Good job not being a “slave to the business man.” Idiot.

Saints Defense – I deserve what I get for picking you.

Sincerely,

Jeffrey
Zombie Al Davis
Team Owner

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