I Broke Up With Netflix

Goodbye Netflix,

It’s been fun.  We had good times.  I will always remember enjoying every season of Lost without commercial interruption.  You recommended documentaries I didn’t know existed.

There were also the bad times… You couldn’t send me new releases but instead offered to send me movies from 1982.  I know nothing would make you happier than to have me rent Die Hard for the 5th time.  I’m sure you have hundreds of copies of it lying around.  You have also let your instant streaming options slide after we became official.  I don’t want to say you got lazy and complacent… but you did put on a couple pounds.

And now your latest and biggest slip-up.  You changed.  You are a skanky whore, Netflix.  You informed me in an email that you will be raising your price 67% on me.  An email?…Really?  How passive aggressive are you?  This is the second time you raised your price in a year.  I thought we had a pretty solid commitment… but you got greedy.   You outkicked your coverage on this one.  So I’ll have to show you the door. 

See while you were out “hooking” more customers, the scene has changed.  I can rent movies for one dollar at a time.  I can stream TV for free on other services.  Did you forget I own a Tivo!?

I can spend your new rate of 16 dollars a month on your service.  Or, I can just buy one new DVD a month and watch it the day it comes out rather than wait for you to get around to sending it to me.

 So eff-off and die you digital media slut.  Enjoy your higher prices and crappy selection of new releases.  I’ll be flirting with Redbox, Amazon and Hulu.

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2 thoughts on “I Broke Up With Netflix

  1. Not to mention the herpes of the digital video world: heavily scratched DVDs that skip repeatedly and pause in the middle of very strange facial expressions on-screen, or during tense, important plot moments. It’s the gift that keeps on g-g-gi-g-gi-……………….giving.

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