I just spent a week in Hawaii with the misses (yes my honeymoon was lovely, thank you for asking) and driving there reminded me how sh*tty we have it here.
As soon as we came back from paradise, we had to drive to the Tri Cities, and then on to Moses Lake. On a side note, highway 17 is a two lane road constantly lined up with potato trucks. Doesn’t passing someone in the left lane of oncoming traffic make you feel like an absolute bad-ass? Just me? I should have written about this specifically. Returning home on a damn Tuesday I find a gaggle of Canadians in the left lane driving their VW micro-buses at a blistering 45 miles per hour. Why are the Canucks invading the states on Memorial Day weekend? Sasquatch Festival. So not only do they talk funny and are always happy, they are most likely still stoned from 3 days of Death Cab for Cutie, Modest Mouse, and The Flaming Lips. Canadian-wannabe hippie-left lane bandits are the worst.
And now for my next traffic related bitch I’m sure only I give a crap about…
It took me exactly one hour to drive 11 miles for breakfast on a Wednesday at 10:30 am. Thank you Seattle. By the time we arrived, it wasn’t even breakfast. Now the only reason this is rant-worthy is these stupid signs I had to stare at for a solid half hour. They infuriate me.
Well thank the maker we spent tax money letting everyone know not to floor it and try to do 40 miles per hour though the heart of the city. Also another brilliant idea the city planner had was to squeeze 4 lanes of traffic down to 2 through the center of the city. I would have given my right leg (my favorite leg) to drive 40 at the time. Dont ever get between me and a meal. I was beyond pissed.
After these two road rage episodes, the misses now thinks I’m insane and she’s probably second guessing becoming legally responsible for me.