The 7…Jonesy’s Favorite Bad Movies

It’s my turn!!!

First off I know what you are all expecting from me: Gigli. Just because I own the movie on DVD doesn’t mean I actually like it, this would be the case in point. I know that Gigli was a piece of horse manure, but it’s got my boy in it. Affleck is the shiznit and I will fully support anything he does (film wise, I can’t support the Red Sox, but that’s another post).

Here’s my list:

        

       

BASEKETBALL: The first live-action entertainment contribution from the creators of South Park. The idea was absurd, a professional sport that combines baseball and basketball with obnoxious teams and rules. After my first viewing I wasn’t that impressed. But then a funny thing happened, we started quoting it. And today, you can hear at least 1 memorable quote per conversation with our group. “Steve…..PERRY!”

Coyote Ugly: This movie could also apply to a list of Top 7 Favorite Chick Flicks. I don’t know what it is about this movie, maybe I just have a permanent hard-on for anything Jerry Bruckheimer. If I’m channel surfing and come across this movie on TBS I will stop and watch for at least 2 commercial breaks. It’s got hot chicks, an underdog story, AND John Goodman. Make fun of me now.

Dead Man on Campus: Many people probably don’t even remember this movie except for the guys who are writing for this site. It marked the brief resurrection of Mark Paul Gosselaar (Zach Morris for you non-IMDB people). Though the film was a complete bomb for the then new MTV Films, it found a second life in college dorm rooms around the country. “My name is Cliff, brother of Joe, got me some crack, want me some hoes!”

Deep Blue Sea: This is technically the first DVD I ever owned (tied with The Matrix as they were bought at the same time). Deep Blue Sea is AMAZING! It’s also very very cheesy. Marked the introduction of Thomas Jane and another notch in the belt for Samuel L. Jackson. Spoiler Alert: Sam Jackson gets eaten by a shark in probably the best death scene ever in a film about genetically altered sharks!

Reign of Fire: I could imagine what the studio execs were thinking when they were pitched this idea: Set in futuristic London, a once dormant breed of dragon has been awoken and escapes to breed and take over the world. Then we’ll have Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale lead the people against the dragons in battle. IT WILL BE EPIC! Yeah, nice try. Though I do enjoy the movie, the concept is more absurd than Baseketball. I could have put Dragonheart on this list too, just to fill my quota for dragon movies.

Rock Star: Marky Mark as a fan turned rock star, it’s every boy’s dream! The film itself was not well received by the general public; nobody believe Wahlberg as a hair metal singer and nobody believed Jennifer Aniston as a groupie. I really enjoyed the songs, especially the last song of the movie that Mark sings as a newly revised “coffehouse” singer. If anyone could find that for me that would be great.

Surviving the Game: This movie has been retold time after time (Hard Target anyone?). But this film is one of the most entertaining pieces of crap I’ve ever seen. Ice-T, Gary Busey and Charles S. Dutton lead this C-List cast of characters as they hire a homeless veteran (Ice-T) to take them on a wilderness hike…PSYCH! They actually hire him for their hunting party and he’s the prey. But then Ice-T goes all pre-Home Alone on them setting up deadly traps in the forest and ultimately comes out alive.

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